We have had a lot of comments about guilt on the blog and facebook lately. In our experience most grievers have some level of guilt associated with their loss – sometimes big, sometimes small. Now, we could just assume I have guilt issues (quite possible) but luckily I have worked with enough grievers over the years to know that my guilt when grieving is the rule, not the exception. I rehashed all the things I felt I should have done, all the negative thoughts I had over the years, and approximately a million other guilt-thoughts that often plague survivors of substance losses. When my sister's boyfriend died of an overdose years later, my guilt went to a new level. I had guilt that I hadn’t called him more during my first year of college, guilt that in the hospital we had told him it was okay to let go and that we would be okay without him. I felt guilt that I wasn’t a match for a bone marrow transplant, though rationally I knew I had no control over that. Though his death didn't fit into one of the categories known for guilt, that didn't stop me from feeling guilty.
When my dad died I remember well the intense guilt I had in the months that followed. Hindsight and Counterfactual Thinking, Guilt in Grief, Grief Articles for Beginners, Is this Normal?
